


Grand Essentials

by sharkie335



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-09-17
Updated: 2010-09-17
Packaged: 2017-10-11 22:31:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/117821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sharkie335/pseuds/sharkie335
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He couldn't say the words, but it didn't mean that he didn't feel them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Grand Essentials

They exchanged a glance and then Rodney followed John to one of the rarely used supply closets. The door hadn't even closed all the way behind them when John was popping the buttons on his pants, shoving them down and out of the way. Rodney had done the same, and John moved into his personal space, letting Rodney wrap one of those huge hands around both of their cocks.

It didn't take more than a few strokes to bring them both off, leaving them drained and panting, both barely on their feet. John grabbed a rag off the shelf and cleaned them both up, refastening his pants as Rodney fastened his.

Another exchange of looks, and Rodney slipped out of the closet, leaving John leaning against the wall and wondering how much more of this he could take without going absolutely insane.

***

Back on Earth, they reported in to SGC headquarters. It was quiet and calm, for once, and Rodney could take a deep breath and possibly even sleep, as just for the moment, the fate of the expedition wasn't sitting on his shoulders.

After being cleared by the SGC's medical team, he stumbled out into the sunlight above the base, a little disorientated. He stood for a long moment, just soaking up sunlight that looked _right_ for once. He was still standing there when Sheppard came out the exit, looking as confused as he felt. "Major."

"Rodney. You headed into town?" Sheppard shielded his eyes with one hand, looking in the direction of Colorado Springs.

"Back to my apartment, actually." That much he was sure of. The bank had continued to pay his rent, so at least he had a place to go. "I'm a little surprised that they don't have you staying here in the VIP quarters." He swung the pack down off his shoulders so that he could double check that he had all of his laptops, barely paying attention to Sheppard, only looking up when he answered.

"They apparently want to debrief Dr. Weir, so I've been put on leave." A shadow of... something passed over Sheppard's face, but Rodney was too tired to wonder at it.

"Makes sense, I guess. So you're going into the city to look for a hotel room?" At Sheppard's nod, his mouth opened of its own volition. "You can come stay with me if you want."

Sheppard looked at him, really _looked_ at him. "Yeah, I guess I could do that."

It was weird, being back behind the wheel of a car. He actually had to steer and brake and he'd gotten used to equipment that responded to his thoughts - enough that he drove slowly on his way to his apartment complex. Sheppard sat in the passenger seat; occasionally twitching like he wanted to be behind the wheel instead, but he didn't say anything.

"So, do you have any plans while we're home, uh, on Earth?" Rodney finally asked when he couldn't stand the silence anymore. But even as he said it, he realized that Earth wasn't home anymore - Atlantis was. Projecting was something that he did a lot, but he didn't figure that Sheppard had much more to tie him to the Milky Way than Rodney did.

Sheppard looked out the window, eyes hidden behind mirrored sunglasses. "Thought I might go see Ford's family."

Rodney coasted to a stop at the light and looked over at Sheppard. No emotion showed on his face at all. "Oh."

There really wasn't anything he could say to that, so they made the remainder of the drive in an uncomfortable silence. Rodney found himself tapping his fingers on the steering wheel, watching other drivers, anything to keep from saying something else.

Rodney's key opened the door, and he stepped into the once familiar chaos of his old living room. Stacks of books covered every flat surface, some of them having tipped over, cat hair liberally covered all the furniture, and clean laundry had been left to gather dust, but it had been home for a long time before Antarctica and Atlantis, and some indefinable tension dropped away as he walked over to the couch and flopped down.

Sheppard followed, looking curiously around, and Rodney waived one hand vaguely. "Come on in and take a load off. Gonna have to call for take out pretty soon, but in the meantime, I'm going to luxuriate in being on a comfortable couch for once, instead of the Ancients' idea of orthopedic, or on the ground."

Sheppard gave a genuine grin and settled down next to Rodney on the couch, tipping his head back and closing his eyes. Rodney didn't sit long, however. Too many things called out for his attention, and he left Sheppard to doze on the couch while he pulled out his computers and networked them on the dining room table.

***

John was on his knees, sucking Rodney hard and fast and desperate. One hand wrapped tight around his own cock, the other holding Rodney's balls, a little firmer than Rodney liked from the way he gasped and shook, one of _his_ hands in John's hair, trying to gentle him back.

He wasn't having any of it, though. He wanted to taste, wanted to feel Rodney out of control and spilling down his throat. Wanted that so badly it _hurt_.

There was no finesse, no easiness in the blowjob, just that fierce need and determination, and no man could hold out against that for long. Certainly not Rodney, whose hand was growing tighter in John's hair as groans and broken words spilled past his lips to fill the air with noise.

John drank it all in, and when Rodney came, he drank that down too.

***

Dinner ordered and consumed, the two of them sat on the couch in silence, staring at the television mindlessly. When Sheppard turned to face Rodney, he was deeply, painfully, bored. "Do you want to -"

Rodney jumped on it like it was a lifeline. "Yes, yes, anything."

But Sheppard just looked startled at Rodney's vehemence. "I was going to ask if you wanted to maybe go rent a movie or something?"

It took effort, but Rodney managed not to be disappointed. Anything more... intimate, had always come out of some sort of trauma. It was probably too much to ask of Sheppard for them to have sex when they weren't in imminent danger of dying.

"Sure, a movie sounds good."

They went to the Blockbuster right around the corner. Rodney rolled his eyes at the horror and action sections - they were living in a bigger spectacle than Hollywood could ever hope to film. When Rodney's eyes fell on the Monty Python movies, he knew that he'd hit on the perfect solution to the boredom blues.

Holding up the copy of "Monty Python and the Holy Grail," he said, "Major?"

Sheppard looked up and a grin broke over his face. "That's it. That's perfect."

Rodney checked them out, thankful that Blockbuster cards don't expire. Taking the movie back the apartment, Rodney popped it into the DVD player and the two of them resumed their seats on the sofa.

He was laughing at the idea of using a cow as a weapon when a soft snore caught his attention. Sheppard had slipped down so that his head was pillowed on the back of the sofa, and had fallen asleep.

He really should get up, let Sheppard sleep. But it was so rare that he saw him in such a vulnerable state, and he wanted... he wasn't sure what he wanted, actually, so he sat there, looking at Sheppard and absorbing how he looked.

The romance books that Jeannie had read when they were kids always talked about people looking younger when they slept, but Sheppard didn't. The worry and care that he carried when he was awake translated to a deep line across his forehead and more tension than Rodney thought was healthy in Sheppard's shoulders and neck.

Quietly, he shut off the DVD and stood up. Shaking Sheppard lightly by the shoulder, he whispered, "Major, you should lie down. Get some sleep."

Sheppard barely opened his eyes, but he did slide down so that he was actually lying full length on the couch. Rodney stood and watched, then moved over to the computers on the dining room table. It wasn't like they were in any danger here, but he felt better being on watch.

***

Rodney shoved him, a stright-armed push that surprised John with its ferocity. Rodney tried to speak, but his rage killed the words before they were more than shapes on his lips, leaving him gasping and incoherent.

Another shove, this one in the direction of the bed, and John figured out what Rodney had in mind. He could go with this.

He caught himself before he fell on the bed, and held up one hand when Rodney went to push him again. It stopped Rodney long enough for John to unbutton his BDUs, letting them drop, and then he climbed up on the bed, spreading his legs and letting his head drop submissively.

Rodney made an inarticulate sound, and then he was _there_ , fingers wet with spit and working their way inside John, opening him with a casual cruelty that made him hard, made him sob and squirm.

There was a _snick_ and a pause, and then John was clawing at the blankets, biting his lip till it bled because Rodney was forcing his way in, in, in... deep and hard and no mercy given or asked for.

Their rhythm was harsh and demanding, and all John could do was hang on to the bed and try to keep his hips up. Couldn't even reach down to touch himself, but that didn't really matter, because when Rodney came, so did John.

***

The days passed fast, one blurring into another as Rodney selected new personnel, and did his best to orient them to what they should expect. More than one dropped out when hearing about the death rate among the original team, and there was a mad scramble to replace them.

It shouldn't have been possible to have time to be homesick, but Rodney was. He wanted to be back on Atlantis with a fierce need that burned in his belly. The only thing that made it at all bearable was going back to his apartment in the evenings, where Sheppard waited.

He knew that Sheppard was fretting over his future, but when Rodney brought it up, he denied anything being wrong at all. But every night, the mute question was present in his eyes. _Do they want me? Have they asked for me?_

Rodney hated to dash that hope night after night, but he had no choice. He knew that Elizabeth was fighting for Sheppard, fighting to keep Sheppard in charge of the military contingent, but he didn't tell him that, afraid that if he did, Sheppard would be even more anxious than he already was.

Ten days into their time back on Earth, Sheppard took off for LA to meet with Ford's cousin. The two days he was gone, Rodney didn't bother to go back to his apartment. He couldn't tolerate the quiet. Instead, he stayed in the lab, yelling at the new people, who were hopeless morons, but even still, were the best of the bunch.

While he was gone, Rodney came to a decision. They had to talk about it, no matter what Sheppard wanted. He didn't want to any more than Sheppard did, but they couldn't live in this state of denial anymore. Their encounters on Atlantis had gotten more and more intense, and while there had been no sexual contact on Earth, he didn't imagine that it was going to stop when they got back home.

So he stocked up on beer and picked up Chinese on the way home. Pulling into the parking lot, he took a deep breath. He could do this.

***

John slammed Rodney back against the wall of the small storage closet. He _needed_ , needed so badly. Needed to know that he was really alive, that they really had beaten the Wraith back.

Rodney didn't argue, didn't struggle, just turning so that his back was to John, hands already busy at his pants, undoing the fly and shoving them down. Bending at the waist, he thrust his ass back at John, silently offering what John wanted.

Fumbling at his own fly, he barely paused to take the small tube of lube from Rodney, slicking up his cock and pressing forward, seeking blindly. There. There was the small entrance and he pressed harder, breaching Rodney and sinking in all the way in one stroke.

His pace was punishing; hard and fast and deep with every stroke. He was pushing Rodney against the wall so hard that there was no way he could bring his hand down to touch himself. Some small part of John noticed, but he couldn't bring himself to care. Instead, his fingers wrapped tightly around Rodney's hips, bruisingly tight as he pushed into that heat.

Leaning forward, he bit down on Rodney's neck, wrenching out a heartfelt groan. Pulling back a little, he eyed the mark he'd made, knowing that it was going to show and not caring. "Mine," he growled, biting down again.

Rodney pushed back, hard, taking even more of John inside himself. There weren't any words, just growls and whimpers as John slammed into him again and again.

Rodney groaned and pushed back, taking everything that John was offering, and John came.

***

Sheppard was sitting on the couch, flipping channels absently. He barely looked up as Rodney came in and unpacked the food on the kitchen table. "How did it go with Ford's cousin?"

"About as well as I expected. She blames me for Ford's disappearance." Sheppard's voice was flat, tired. "She's angry, and I can't blame her."

"Come and eat. You'll feel better." Tempted to just let The Talk drop, Rodney shook his head at his momentary indecision. It had to be done, and now. A decision had just been made that afternoon about Sheppard, and departure had been set for two days' time.

As Sheppard filled a plate with kung pao chicken and spicy beef, Rodney started with his opening gambit gesturing with his fork. "You're going to need to report to SGC tomorrow. They need you to start going over files."

Sheppard set down his plate and looked at Rodney. "You mean?"

"Yeah. Congratulations on your new command, Major."

He took a deep breath, and some of the tension that had been holding him so rigid for so long disappeared. "Oh, thank god."

Somehow, Rodney knew that he wasn't thankful for the command - in fact, he suspected that that part hadn't sunk in yet - but that he wasn't going to be left behind. It was going to be a cold day in hell before the SGC managed to get Sheppard back to Earth again, Rodney suspected.

Rodney let Sheppard settle in at the table and eat hungrily. He wasn't surprised that Sheppard ate like a starving man; he'd barely been eating at all for the last ten days. He made the decision to wait until Sheppard was finished to bring it up. Waiting impatiently for Sheppard to finish, he shoveled in his own food. It did nothing to settle the cramping in his belly.

But finally, Sheppard pushed back his plate and sighed. He looked sated, a little sleepy, and possibly just a little buzzed from the beers he'd drunk while they were eating, and Rodney knew there wasn't going to be a better time.

"So, as the official military commander of Atlantis, are you going to continue to fuck me?"

Sheppard managed to spit beer completely across the table. "What?"

"Well, I just thought we should decide now whether we're going to continue to pretend that we're nothing more than teammates while screwing every chance we get, or if you'd finally acknowledge there might be something more." Rodney stared very intently at his own beer, trying to force his shoulders to relax, trying not to give away how important this was.

"Jesus, Rodney! You can't just - I'm _military_. It's not like I can come out tomorrow or something." John's voice sounded cracked, and Rodney winced.

"I know that, Major, I know - and I'm not asking you to. What I'm asking is that between us, there finally be some honesty. I'm tired of not knowing what you want from me. I'm tired of not sharing your bed, and I'm tired of sex only following life threatening occasions."

Sheppard raised one hand, only to swiftly drop it again. "Rodney -"

"Don't. Don't tell me you can't do more, don't tell me that you want things to stay the same, Major - _John_ \- because we both know a lie when we hear it." Rodney though he just might throw up, because this was _it_ , this was the ultimatum, if Sheppard chose to hear it that way.

Rubbing one hand over his face, Sheppard leaned forward in his chair. There was silence, broken only by the faint hum of the fan in the computer coming on, but Rodney waited, unwilling to say anything further.

"What do you want me to say? That you're important to me? You _are_. But I don't know how much more I can give you without compromising our positions."

"I know, I know. And I don't want that, either, but just once, here and now, I'd like something more than a hard fuck because somehow we managed to survive once again." Rodney looked down at his own hands, and oh, look, they were shaking.

There was a whisper of sound, and then Sheppard was kneeling in front of him, his hands tangling with Rodney's. "I want that, too," Sheppard whispered. "If I could - if _we_ could, I'd want _everything_."

He leaned down as Sheppard reached up, and then they were kissing, soft and gentle.

***

There was something tentative and shy about the kiss, and John realized that this was the first time that they'd ever really kissed. Hesitantly, he opened his mouth, and Rodney moaned softly, his tongue coming to tangle with John's.

John wasn't sure what to do with his hands. One slid between Rodney and the chair to rest on his low back, while the other slid up to rest on his neck. As soon as John touched him there, some of the tension that was tightening Rodney's back and shoulders disappeared.

When the kiss finally ended, they came to rest forehead to forehead, an unconscious imitation of the Athosian gesture, so close that they were breathing the same air. "John - " Rodney said.

"I know, Rodney." And John did. He knew all that wasn't being said, by either of them. He knew that this really might be a one time thing, and he wanted to take it slow, take it easy, and see where it led, just this once.

Ignoring the creaking of his knees, he stood up, pulling Rodney up with him. Stepping backwards, he was grateful when Rodney followed, and together they made their way to the bedroom.

Once there, John was nervous. It was one thing to fuck in the heat of passion. It was another to set out deliberately, and he wasn't sure what to do next. Rodney took that decision out of his hands by tugging up John's t shirt and running possessive hands over John's chest.

Closing his eyes, John relaxed into the sensation of being touched. It felt good, so very good, and when Rodney's hands disappeared it was all he could do not to whimper. "Please?"

But Rodney stepped back and was stripping his own clothes off. John took this as an invitation and rapidly shed his pants. As soon as they were both naked, he got right up against Rodney, pressing skin against skin fully for the first time.

Both of them moaned at that. In its own way, it was more intense than the sex they'd had, and John tried to will knowledge of how he felt for Rodney to pass through his skin and into Rodney's body without him opening his mouth. Rodney started to move, and for a moment, John thought it might have actually worked, and then he realized that Rodney had sunk to his knees in front of him.

"Oh, yeah," John said, stroking his cock as he looked down into Rodney's face, clear and open. Rodney licked his lips, then nudged John's hand out of the way and lapped away a drop of clear fluid from the tip of John's cock. "Rodney."

Cradling Rodney's face in his hand, John let the emotion that he held so close to his chest show. He couldn't say the words, but it didn't mean that he didn't feel them. "God, I want you," he whispered, and then moaned as Rodney's mouth moved down over his cock, loose and wet.

It didn't last long, just till John was really getting into it. When Rodney pulled back, John whimpered. "I want," Rodney coughed and cleared his throat, color high in his face. "I want you to fuck me, John, long and slow."

John was nodding even as he was pulling Rodney up off the floor and into a deep, carnal kiss. His hands stroked down over Rodney's hips and pulled him even closer so that their cocks brushed together, causing them both to hiss in reaction.

Turning them so that he could walk Rodney backwards to the bed, he pushed him lightly till he sat. "Do you have -?" he half stuttered out, relieved when Rodney leaned over and opened the nightstand drawer. Grabbing the tube of lube, he popped open the top and slicked two of his fingers.

He returned his attention to kissing Rodney even as his finger slid inside of him. It was sweet and hot to be able to take his time like this, and some part of him mourned the fact that it wasn't likely to happen too often back in Atlantis.

Rodney broke the kiss and looked up at him. "Be with me, John. Be with me, here, now." He tightened around John's finger, and John couldn't help the groan at the sensation. That was going to be him, his cock, in that tight, soft, heat. Slipping in another finger, they both moaned.

"I - please, Rodney, I have to... need to be inside you," John said, trying desperately to keep it together. At this rate, he wasn't sure that he was going to be able to keep from coming all over Rodney's thigh.

But Rodney nodded, spreading his legs wider. "Just... slow, John, please."

Slipping his fingers free, he shifted so he was kneeling between Rodney's thighs, hands on his hips. He lifted one of Rodney's legs over his shoulder, the other finding its own way around John's waist. Gently, he pressed inside, loving the way it felt to slide into Rodney, like he was coming home.

Rodney gasped and his legs tightened around John, his hands coming up to tangle with John's. "Yeah, just like that."

So John started to move, slowly and carefully, some part of him taking note of every sensation, every feeling, like it might be his last chance at this. Waves of ecstasy broke over him with every movement, and his mouth was moving, words spilling out of him that he couldn't control, couldn't even tell what they were.

Bringing Rodney's hand up to his mouth, he kissed it, as much to stem the tide of words as because it just seemed the right thing to do. Rodney gasped and started to really move under him, forcing them to speed up slightly. "Oh, please, John, so much, so _good_ ," he moaned.

John couldn't help it. His balls were pulled up tight to his body, his cock demanding that he go harder, faster, deeper, and so he did, feeling every inch of his cock sliding into that hot, tight, space and then back out, till just the head was still inside Rodney. "God, Rodney, love this... love _you_ ," he said, voice barely above a whisper.

And that seemed to be what Rodney had been waiting for, because he _broke_ , begging for it to be harder, legs pulling John unbelievably deep. John sped up again, pounding into Rodney, barely pausing when Rodney's cock started to jerk and spit. His own orgasm was there, right on the edge of the cliff...

And he fell.

***

Two days later, they were gathered at the SGC, waiting to be beamed back aboard the _Daedalus_. Rodney was busy with his new scientists, but he could feel the heat of someone looking at him. As he glanced over his shoulder, he saw John, and he smiled.


End file.
